


ugh

by Nyxate



Category: DREAM!ing (Video Game)
Genre: Loving someone so much it hurts, M/M, This is mostly Senri reflecting on his OWN emotions, Yuma is...dense, also a lot of swearing at some point bc takaomi LOL, he doesn't show up too much only in the beginning and in the middle, one-sided (kind of), senri being stupid and in love, so this is mostly senri, song inspired fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 14:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19477375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxate/pseuds/Nyxate
Summary: Senri's never been good with seriously expressing his feelings. Ever.But at this point, it's getting ridiculous.





	ugh

**Author's Note:**

> hi another yumasen fic because well...someone has to keep alive and well fed. anyways this fic was inspired by the song "uni" which is originally my hatsune miku but i listened to the vy2v3 version so go listen to that (bc it has english subs) if you need a mood song for this fic. i made a really big thread about how the song makes me think of senri bc the whole song is just about struggling to come to term with how to tell someone you love them. it's really good and inspired this fic! so i hope you enjoy reading this. thank u carry on

“I love you,” The phrase left his lips like clockwork, something that was repeated almost too often in an attempt to relay how he felt towards the boy sitting beside him. Yet, the smile on his face and playful tone in his voice played it off as something less meaningful, like it always did. “Yumapiii~”

“I love you too, Nito.” The other didn’t even look up, focusing on something he was trying to read on his phone, eyes squinted even with the screen less than a foot away from his face. Senri laughed, fingers tightening around the cloth of Yuma’s shirt, clinging to his arm like he usually did. As much as the response hurt him, he couldn’t help but be charmed by the simplest things Yuma did.

He knew Yuma didn’t mean it.

Romantically, anyway. It wasn’t that Yuma’s words weren’t insincere- not in the slightest. They were very genuine, just not in the way that Senri wanted. Although, now that he thought about it, maybe his own ‘I love you’s weren’t even that genuine in the first place. Sure, he loved Yuma but...whenever he said it out loud, he always made sure it sounded...funny. The words were always paired with some kind of clingy action, or followed with a, “Yumapi, can you just pay attention to me?!”

(Which never really worked, by the way.)

Senri rested his head on Yuma’s shoulder, letting his eyes fall shut. It was funny, really, how touchy he was when it came to Yuma. He had always considered himself one of those friends who was sort of touchy, so he was able to disguise it under that fact. If Yuma  _ did _ notice that he was more physical with him, he didn’t say anything about it. Or he didn’t care. Thinking about the latter hurt Senri’s heart a lot more, though.

Lost in thoughts of how he wished he could stay like that with Yuma, they were rudely disrupted by the sound of a bell ringing. Senri groaned in annoyance, feeling Yuma shift and start to stand up, causing him to slip off his shoulder and fall against the bench they were sitting on.

“Uu, Yumapi, that was so mean~” Senri whined, propping himself up. He looked up at Yuma, who was shoving his phone in his pocket and getting his bag ready. With a sigh, he stood up, grabbing his own bag that rested against the leg of the bench.

“Sorry,” Yuma glanced at him to make sure he was okay, before looking off into the direction of the school building. “I’ll see you after class?”

“Maybe, if I decided to grace you with my presence,” Senri giggled, stepping in front of Yuma with playful smile on his face. Yuma smiled back, which Senri considered a win in his book. They said one last goodbye to each other before heading their separate ways.

As soon as he turned away from Yuma, the smile on his face fell into a frown. It was a task to keep himself smiling for that long, even if he was around the one he loved the most. Maybe if he wasn’t constantly having a miniature war inside his head, he’d be able to give Yuma a genuine, loving smile.

Maybe if he just seriously told Yuma how he felt, he wouldn’t have this constant uncomfortable, fuzzy feeling in his head every time he woke up in the morning.

In the beginning phase of his developing feelings, he would wake up every day with his chest feeling warm, getting ready as fast as he could to go see his Yumapi. Not a second would be wasted, and it got to the point where he had his routine down to a T. Eventually he slowly started to fall out of that routine, realizing that no matter how lovestruck he was, it was pretty ridiculous to wake up extremely early just to get ready to see his crush.

A few months after, though, a different feeling started to develop over the soft mushiness in his heart.

Every time he saw Yuma, his chest tightened, eyes falling to look at the ground as if it’d make the feeling go away. It never did, though. He couldn’t even bring himself to wave to him, to call him over, to- to just say  _ hi _ to him felt like the most grueling task he’d ever been given.

Why was it suddenly so hard? Why did it hurt so much to just...look at him?

Senri constantly asked himself those same questions for a while, but deep down, he knew. He knew  _ exactly _ why he felt that way.

If you were deeply in love with someone you saw almost every day, constantly expressed your love in the most obvious way possible, but your valiant efforts went unnoticed, wouldn’t your heart begin to rebel too?

It wasn’t as though Yuma did it on purpose, though- or at least, Senri was pretty sure it wasn’t on purpose. Yuma wasn’t stupid, just...incredibly dense. That’s what kept Senri going for a while. He figured that, sooner or later, he’d get it through to Yuma that he liked him. He liked him a  _ lot. _ More than a friend normally does.

Unfortunately, it got to a point where Senri was starting to get...irritated.

Not with Yuma, though.  _ Never _ with his Yumapi.

Ugh.

He was annoyed with himself. He thought about truly confessing to Yuma, but every time he tried to think of a way to do it, his head got all fuzzy. Just  _ thinking _ about seriously confessing made his cheeks become hot with a soft blush and made him a dizzy, lovestruck mess.

He hated it.

His thought process throughout the day was at least seventy-five percent filled with scenarios of him and Yuma in various places: In front of the school, on top of the roof, in Yuma’s room, in his room, in the cafeteria, under the sakura where they first met...and they were all the same thing: Senri trying to confess his feelings to Yuma, but turning into a sputtering, incomprehensible mess when trying to find the right words to say.

In the morning when he woke up, at school, during lunch, on break, when he headed home, to the moment he fell asleep- it was all the same thing, the same thoughts  _ plaguing _ his mind and making him feel like he was going to go insane.

He knew he shouldn’t be constantly fretting over something like this, something that could so easily be solved by talking about his feelings. But Senri was…

Scared.

Among the thoughts of his confessions playing out in his head were also thoughts such as  _ ‘he doesn’t even like you’ _ and _ ‘you’ll never be with him’ _ and  _ ‘you’re not his type’ _ and-

_ ‘You’re not good enough for him.’ _

That one hurt the most.

It felt like a hot knife was driven into his chest every time he thought about that. Not being his type? That was fine. If Yuma didn’t even like him? That was cool too. But not being  _ good _ enough for him? That’s what made Senri want to curl up in his blankets and never see Yuma’s stupidly good-looking face again.

It’s what made him want to forget he was even in love in the first place.

If he could run away from his feelings, he would. If he could simply forget his feelings, he would in a heartbeat. But as much as he tried to push his feelings to the back of his mind- as much as he tried to  _ ignore  _ them- they always came back once he saw Yuma. That handsome face with those gorgeous blue eyes, a welcoming smile, a smooth, soothing voice, his laugh, his-

_ ‘Ugh!!’  _ The sound of led snapping broke him away from his thoughts, looking down at the paper he was supposed to be working on. He had been writing so hard out of frustration that he broke the tip of his pencil. He placed it down, not even bothering to get another before folding his arms atop his desk and sinking his head into them. He couldn’t work like this.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed before the bell rang, but he didn’t really care anyways. Reluctantly, he lifted his head and started to put his items into his backpack. He stretched before getting up and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about Yuma. Did he want to go see him? Of course he did. But he didn’t know if he could do it. Every time they greeted each other, Senri felt his heart squeeze in such a stupid and painful way. He didn’t mean to let it get this bad. He really thought it was just a little crush that would fade away eventually. He never had any intention of letting the little flower in his heart turn into a fully bloomed bouquet.

While lost in his thoughts, he had picked up his pace, not really paying attention to where he was going, and-

_ Thwump- _

“Ah-” Senri’s carelessness ended up with him crashing into someone and falling back. He managed to catch himself with his hands, hissing in pain as they hit the rough concrete. He readied himself to be cussed out by whoever he ran in to, but was met with nothing but silence. Then his eyes trailed up the body of the person standing in front of him, widening when he realized just who he had bumped in to.

“Nito? Are you okay?” Never in his life had Senri felt his cheeks get flushed so fast. Of course. Of  _ course _ he’d run into Yuma, who didn’t even fall over from the impact. He outstretched his hand to Senri, who just sat there for a moment, looking at it. Reaching up, Senri grasped Yuma’s hand with his own, trying to ignore how shaky it was. He felt Yuma’s hand tighten around his, helping him get up on his feet.

“I...I’m…” Senri fumbled over his words, eyes darting to look at  _ any _ place where Yuma wasn’t. He’d done a lot of stupid things, but walking directly into the person he’s in love with is something he can add to that list. But unlike all the other things he’s done, he’s never felt so embarrassed about it.

“Are you okay…? Are you sick?” Yuma took a step forward, getting just a little  _ too _ close to Senri, which made the other’s eyes drawn to him immediately. Blue met teal and locked on to each other as Yuma reached out his hand, running his fingers through Senri’s bangs in order to push them back. Senri felt frozen in time, feeling Yuma press his wrist against his forehead. “Your face is really red.”

Ah.

Pulling his eyes away from Yuma’s, he saw that, much to his dismay, a few other people had stopped walking and were now looking at them. Senri felt his face get even redder, if that was even possible at this point. He tore himself away from Yuma’s grasp and snatched up his bag that was on the ground before making his way past the boy in front of him, running away as fast as he could.

_ ‘Stupid,’ _ The word echoed in Senri’s head. He didn’t even bother looking back to see if Yuma- or anyone- was following him, and he didn’t care. He could feel his vision starting to blur, unaware that tears had begun to well up in his eyes.  _ ‘Ugh, I’m such a baby.’ _

Never had he felt so ridiculously embarrassed. All he wanted to do was get back to his dorm and never see the light of day ever again. Which is exactly what he did.

He dropped his backpack at the side of his bed before jumping onto it, burying his face into his pillow and letting out the most frustrating scream he had ever emitted from his lungs. And he’s done a lot of acting in his life.

“Shut the FUCK up, oh my god? What’s your fucking problem. Did you NOT see me in here?”

Great.

“Don’t fucking ignore me!” Despite having his face shoved into a pillow, he could tell the other person in his dorm get up and make their way over and to his bed. There was silence for a minute, but it didn’t last long as he felt another pillow hit his back. “I’m TALKING TO YOU.”

“You really need to work on your indoor voice,” Senri lifted his head, glaring at the person standing at his bedside. “Bakaomi.”

He could see the fire burst to life in Takaomi’s eyes, but they were quickly covered up by the pillow Senri decided to throw back at him.

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” He practically growled, ready to find something to throw back at Senri twice as hard.

“Go ahead. It’d make my life easier.” Senri sighed, sinking his head back into the pillow below him. The long silence scared him for a moment, unsure of his roommate was actually planning on ending his life. He wouldn’t doubt it.

“You alright?” He heard the other sit down and assumed he was seated on his own bed, which was only a few feet away from his own, separated by large nightstand. “You seem uh...depressed, or something. I’m not gonna actually fuckin’ kill you.”

“Wow, how considerate of you,” Senri rolled his eyes, although it’s not like Takaomi could see it. “I’m just having person problems. Don’t worry about it.”

“Is it about four-eyes?” Senri fell quiet at the question, which Takaomi took as a yes. “You know everyone and their damn mother knows you like him, right?”

“Uuu...shut up! You didn’t have to say that~!” He heard Takaomi laugh, a stupid laugh to be specific. “Okay, well, every BUT Yumapii know’s I like him.”

“Then just tell him? Are you stupid?”

“Ugh, you’re NO help at all. I hate you.” Senri finally took his head out of his pillow, turning onto his side and curling into himself. He made sure his back was to Takaomi. He didn’t want to see the dumb look on his face.

“Come on. Is it really that difficult to tell him? You already say all the time that you love him. You KNOW he’s fucking stupid.”

“He’s NOT stupid!! He’s just...he’s…”

“Stupid?”

“No!!!!!”

“Okay, whatever. If you’re not gonna confess to him, stop whining about it. It’s annoying.” He heard the other stand up and assumed he was making his way over to the TV to play some games. Unfortunately, he came into his vision, walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Oh, maybe I’ll go visit Yuma. Tell him what’s going on.”

Senri sat up so fast that he got dizzy, as if his mind wasn’t foggy enough from being way too in love. “WHAT?”

Takaomi fell against the door in a fit of laughter. “The- the  _ look _ on your face, o-oh my god, your voice, holy shit-”

“Ugh,” Senri cleared his throat, not proud of how his voice cracked. “I really hate you.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever, I’ve heard it all before,” Senri watched as Takaomi opened the door, burning holes into his back with the most genuine glare he’s ever given someone. “C’mon, don’t be mad. It was a joke. I’m not  _ that _ much of an asshole.”

“Whatever...if you do see Yumapi, and he asks about me, tell him I’m okay. We um…” Senri paused, feeling the heat rush to his face again. “We had a...run in...with each other. It was really embarrassing.”

“Pfft...that’s why you’re so upset? God you’re such a baby. Okay, if I see your _pwecious_ _Yumapi,_ I’ll make sure to tell him you’re alright.” After mocking Senri, Takaomi closed the door, leaving him alone in their dorm.

“Jeez…” Senri moved so he was laying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling above. At this point, all he wanted to do was melt into bed, never to be seen again. He wasn’t sure how he’d ever be able to face Yuma now.

Maybe he should just confess. It couldn’t be that hard, right? As soon as he thought about it, though, he covered his face in more embarrassment. He just wasn’t a very serious kind of person.

Maybe he should be more forward. Yuma would understand then, right? He wasn’t stupid, just dense.

Maybe he should just kiss him.

No, he’d probably die if he did that.

Then he came to the conclusion he always did: just run away from his feelings. It’s never worked before, but maybe it’d work this time?

Deep in his heart, though, he knew it wouldn’t. It never did. He knew he’d be stuck in this eternal cycle of shoving his feelings into a tight spot in his brain, sure that they’d never come out, but then feeling the seal pop and those exact feelings flooding out as soon as he laid eyes on Yuma.

“I love you, Yumapi~” He’d say, playfully, clinging to his arm, almost as if it was a routine.

“I love you too, Nito,” Yuma would reply back, with that same tone of voice Senri knew so well, the voice that never meant it in the way he wanted it to.

And it hurt worse every single time he heard it.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading, my twitter is @nyxate if u want more yumasen content whenever i post it. again please listen to the song that inspired this fic, uni by vy2v3. dont forget to like comment and subscribe to give me the motivation to keep vomiting out these fics <3


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